7 Questions to ask yourself before 2025
It’s December which, in the US, means that it’s basically a federal holiday for 31 days. I’m not sure which date officially kicks off the mental checkout, but I can feel it everywhere. It’s hard to motivate myself to work - even harder to schedule meetings with other people.
Normally, this is the time when I sit down with a rainbow of pens and set goals for the next year - but I’m struggling. After a week and a half of wracking my brain, I’ve got exactly zero things I want to accomplish next year.
So, I am trying something different to spur inspiration - deep reflection. Thus far this has proved to be both cathartic and fun. Plus, I still get to use my gelly roll pens (always a delight).
Not all reflection questions are created equal. The standard set is yawn-inducing and feels more self-congratulatory than insightful. I have made the obligatory list of things I did this year. I’ve found 1-2 things I could do more/differently for next year. And after the snoozefest that is my self-evaluation at work, I went spelunking around the interwebs in search of something better.
Here are the 7 questions worth asking:
How am I complicit in creating undesirable outcomes?
What am I willing to be bad at for a long time so that I can eventually master it?
What would I do if I were 10% braver?
Who gave me really good advice this year and what was it?
What are you avoiding?
What burdens or disappointments can you leave behind?
What permission do you need?
The last question comes from a Masterclass by Liz Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love, on the Calm App. She advises creating official letterhead from the principal’s office, which gives you unlimited, unqualified permission to do/be/have whatever is on the list.
From the office of the person who makes the rules:
I hereby grant Nikki Soulsby full authority and permission to:
Take as many naps as she needs
Rant, rave, cry, storm, and be otherwise disagreeable
Not wear makeup or fix her hair
Get gussied up for no reason
Take the easy way out or go the extra mile as she sees fit
Play games
Read smut
Let other people solve their own problems
Have an opinion
Ask for help or for what she wants
Sweat without apology
Use all the fucking curse words
Need her mom
Take all of her PTO
Not know what she’s doing
Be the expert
Get it wrong
Make magic
Do nothing or do something
Take breaks
Do things by herself
Follow her curiosity wherever it leads - with or without purpose
Not set goals
I still don’t have goals for next year, but lucky for me, my permission slip says that I don’t have to come up with any.
The other thing I discovered in all of this reflection is that my intuition is worth listening to. I had a beautiful plan for what to do next, complete with no less than 3 contingency strategies.
Just before I pulled the final trigger, I got this deep knowing that the timing was off. It didn’t look off, but it felt off.
So, I pumped the breaks - just a little hesitation before I went all in.
One week later that plan exploded in my face.
While I wish life didn’t have to be so dramatic with its lessons (for real bro, chill out), I’m grateful for the hard lesson coming before I did any major damage to my life.
For several months, I’ve felt lost. The path forward is shrouded in a dense fog, and all my attempts to gain clarity have failed. My normal tricks for getting un-funked aren’t working. Even reading isn’t helping 😱.
So, I’ve decided to do something deeply uncomfortable. I’m going to sit here, quietly, and allow the not knowing to be. Instead of fighting the fog, I’m going to embrace it. I give myself permission to exist without purpose, plan, or production until I no longer need the those things to feel valuable.
I will publish my next article when there is something to say.
Until then - I wish you the merriest of holiday seasons. May you spend time with those you love, avoid the drama, fill your bellies and hearts with good things, laugh until your sides ache, and get some much-needed rest.
You made it this far - I can’t wait to see what you do next.
PS please share your permission slip with me if you decide to make one! I’d love to hear your take on that exercise.